This is a hodgepodge post because there's a lot going on starting with the Olympics. Oh how I love you! There are so many amazing stories that come out the Olympics. There's excitement, drama, tragedy, hope, not to mention gorgeous athletes from all over the world - it's fast, dangerous, and crazy. I mean who knew a German curler could be so hot? Skiing, hockey, snowboarding, figure skating - what's not to love? I'll tell you what ~ those figure skating outfits. What the hell? Someone in the figure skating world needs to get off the heroin. The glitz, the glam, the sequins, the plunging necklines...and that's just the guys. What on earth is going on? I know Johnny Weir goes his own way...that's his deal. There's always one standout who's off the beaten path in just about every sport. Dennis Rodman was a tatted-out, cross dressing goofball...Andre Agassi had his mega hair (which sadly we now know were extensions). I get that. But I can't figure out the rest of the guys in this sport. These guys come out more glammed up than the women, eeesh. And Evan Lysacek, you need to lighten up and quit being being such a douche. What a pompous ass - snobbiness does not become you.
On to bigger and better things....HOCKEY! There's only so much biathalon one person can handle. What's the deal with that anyway? I don't know a whole lot of people who are getting around by way of cross country skiing with a rifle strapped to their backs stopping every so often to fire off a couple of rounds. Yeah, that one goes over my head. So hockey - I was so glad that not only did Team USA beat Switzerland, but David Backes got scored. Yay! He really should be captain of the Blues, but that's another post. Another congrats goes to one of my favorite athletes, Bode Miller (hubba hubba), who won the bronze medal last night. So glad to see your back and kicking ass again. You're so much cooler that way than being a super party guy pissing everyone off. By the way, I'm single...call me.
So for those who watched the Olympics and missed The Bachelor last night, let me sum it up for you: Jake again made a baffling decision not so much by getting rid of Gia (even though I really didn't think she was so great for him anyway), but telling Ali she couldn't come back? I'm sorry, what? His reasoning was because out of those three women he really couldn't pick one to go so he could bring Ali back. Hmm...so its down to white trash Vienna and Tenley, the dancing fool. Both annoying, neither very cute, and very average personalities overall. Seriously, this guy started off with 25 women and these are the two he ends up with? It's no mystery why this guy is single. He has terrible taste in women, zero common sense, and apparently his eyeballs are broken if he's still sticking with Vienna because he "just doesn't see what the other girls see in her." Ray Charles could see that Jake. Okie dokie. Well, here's what I do see: Ali is a doll. She is super cute, so sweet and honest, and has an amazing personality. See the video clip of Ellen DeGeneres's interview with Ali. http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978050680&grpId=3659174697243100&nav=Groupspace. And this boob didn't bring her back. I want to like Jake, but...I can't. If he were truly looking for a wife, these ladies would not be the last two standing. Please. Thank God there's no chance of "The Bachelor II: Jake Returns" after this train wreck implodes. I'm pretty sure he'll be flying solo again.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
A Love Story? I Don't Think So
Who in the hell is Cindy Margolis? I have no clue...but she has big boobs and a horde of 25 idiots all trying to date...sorry..."marry" her, which she says is a love story. Okay, really? If this is a love story, then I don't want one. I'm pretty sure this is the white trash version of the Bachelorette. Backstory: apparently she was married from the time she came out of the womb until her husband divorced her because she claims that she's never had to date before and doesn't know how. Okay, so since she doesn't "know" how to date, she turns to the internet to "solicit" men to seduce her. Wtf? That's not dating...that's called whoring around. She is 45 years old and her 25 options range in age from 18 (yes, I said 18) to 71. She claims they are "amazing." I highly doubt that. Some are cute, some are creepy, some are dorky, some are pathetic ~ most are meatheads, freaks, douche bags, milf-lovers, mamas boys, tools, ego maniacs, crazy psycho fans, delusionals, wusses, and pervs. I haven't seen one normal guy in the group, but half of them claim to be models. Yeah I don't think so. Okay, wait there is one nice guy who I'm assuming is going to eventually get his ass kicked by the Tupac impersonator. That is not a typo. TUPAC IMPERSONATOR. Yes. Clearly she has no standards, which creeps me out. And it should creep out most of the guys that are there, but they all seem to be so enamored by her and her boobs that I don't think anyone notices how wierd this is. Especially not the 18 yr old who claims he lost his best friend because he had sex with his mom. Ew.
So the idea is that she "dates" these guys (translation: hooks up with). There's not a lot of substance to this show ~ not like that's a shock. I think Cops has more depth. This chick is a freak ~ and it pisses me of just a little that she has these kids who are clearly on the backburner so her ego can be inflated. Mom of the Year she is not. Oh, the best part...the entire house is filled with giant blown up pictures of her in swimsuits.
So I love that the guys show up and immediately go straight to the bar and start getting hammered. Because there's nothing classier than a tool who's wasted. I'm not sure why she had to go to the internet to find these losers. I can find this motley crew at a bar on any given night. Next she tells the guys she has a love shack. Of course she does. She picks one guy out of these randoms to go to her love shack by giving them a piece of her wedding cake. This would be a HUGE red flag for any guy. And these guys are fighting each other trying to get the wedding cake. HELLO? ARE YOU GUYS PAYING ATTENTION??? If any one of these guys was dating this girl normally and not fighting 20 other guys for her attn, and she shows up in a wedding dress with a wedding cake, they couldn't run fast enough to get away from her. Seriously. But because these idiots are so hell bent on making sure they beat out all the other idiots there, they're willing to say and do anything.
My favorite part of the show: she said she feels like a slut after she takes a random to her love shack and hooks up with him. Honey, you shouldn't feel like a slut, you should just acknowledge that you are one.
So the idea is that she "dates" these guys (translation: hooks up with). There's not a lot of substance to this show ~ not like that's a shock. I think Cops has more depth. This chick is a freak ~ and it pisses me of just a little that she has these kids who are clearly on the backburner so her ego can be inflated. Mom of the Year she is not. Oh, the best part...the entire house is filled with giant blown up pictures of her in swimsuits.
So I love that the guys show up and immediately go straight to the bar and start getting hammered. Because there's nothing classier than a tool who's wasted. I'm not sure why she had to go to the internet to find these losers. I can find this motley crew at a bar on any given night. Next she tells the guys she has a love shack. Of course she does. She picks one guy out of these randoms to go to her love shack by giving them a piece of her wedding cake. This would be a HUGE red flag for any guy. And these guys are fighting each other trying to get the wedding cake. HELLO? ARE YOU GUYS PAYING ATTENTION??? If any one of these guys was dating this girl normally and not fighting 20 other guys for her attn, and she shows up in a wedding dress with a wedding cake, they couldn't run fast enough to get away from her. Seriously. But because these idiots are so hell bent on making sure they beat out all the other idiots there, they're willing to say and do anything.
My favorite part of the show: she said she feels like a slut after she takes a random to her love shack and hooks up with him. Honey, you shouldn't feel like a slut, you should just acknowledge that you are one.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
I knew it
She just had to come back...they're too perfect together. Again, really I don't like this show but I'm kind of crushing on these two together. ;)
Click on this post title to read the article.
Click on this post title to read the article.
Holy Crap - What Was That???
When I got home from work I flipped on the tv, went into my room to change, let the dog out, the usual. I heard what sounded like insane people on tv, so obviously I had to check it out. It was Cops. Wow. Now this is a show I really DO NOT watch. Mostly because it's filled with hoosiers and they're all dirty...they pretty much all look like they smell and might have bugs...on them. I was hooked. First let me give you the premise - a mom and her husband - some shirtless, beer-bellied, drunk - live with their daughter, who has at least one toddler child, and her boyfriend. There is also another daughter at the apartment with her toddler child. And my favorite, the underaged, drunken, baggy-pants wearing son...also living with the daughter and her beau. Here's what I pieced together - the dad took the mom's money (I think she's a nurse bc she had on scrubs, but who the hell knows) (she also had her hair pulled back in a denim bow and a scrunchie...two strikes against that lady)...ok so her husband, shirtless d-bag, spent the day drinking with his undersaged son, d-bag jr, who then took nurse mom's money ($580), and then proceeded to get into a fist fight with the daughter, her boyfriend, nurse mom and there might have been someone else...that part's fuzzy.
Did I mention the dad doesn't have teeth? That was great bc you already couldn't understand him because he was so wasted, then throw in the fact that he has no teeth...it was like he had a mouth full of shit. Did I tell you the part where he and the son jump in the pick up truck and run from the police? And by run, I mean they got maybe 40 feet and were immediately pulled over. Like it's a big surprise they couldn't navigate any better than that. So they're both arrested and while the son is standing in handcuffs, nurse mom comes over and says "So are you happy now? You finally got arrested - are you happy?" Um, I'm guessing he's not which is probably why he's an underaged alcoholic in the first place. Here's an idea: why don't you be a parent to this kid and get his dumb ass in school? **Sidenote: I have to ask, why don't hoosiers wear shirts? This is a severe pet peeve of mine ~ it's not like they're hard bodies...they're always blubbery and sweaty, and overweight...yuck. Who wants to see that? Cover that up!** And this was only the last 5 minutes of this show. I can't imagine watching an entire episode. I felt like I needed a shower, but if you read the post below then you would know that's not such a good idea either, so...
Did I mention the dad doesn't have teeth? That was great bc you already couldn't understand him because he was so wasted, then throw in the fact that he has no teeth...it was like he had a mouth full of shit. Did I tell you the part where he and the son jump in the pick up truck and run from the police? And by run, I mean they got maybe 40 feet and were immediately pulled over. Like it's a big surprise they couldn't navigate any better than that. So they're both arrested and while the son is standing in handcuffs, nurse mom comes over and says "So are you happy now? You finally got arrested - are you happy?" Um, I'm guessing he's not which is probably why he's an underaged alcoholic in the first place. Here's an idea: why don't you be a parent to this kid and get his dumb ass in school? **Sidenote: I have to ask, why don't hoosiers wear shirts? This is a severe pet peeve of mine ~ it's not like they're hard bodies...they're always blubbery and sweaty, and overweight...yuck. Who wants to see that? Cover that up!** And this was only the last 5 minutes of this show. I can't imagine watching an entire episode. I felt like I needed a shower, but if you read the post below then you would know that's not such a good idea either, so...
True Reality...a Bite in the Ass
So my day started at 2 am this morning when I found a naked, dirty man scrunched down in my kitchen cabinet who didn't have a tongue and was trying to talk to me. Apparently, he broke into my kitchen through a wall in the garage but was stuck in the cabinet. I found this guy shortly after I was jumped in my front yard by a carjacker trying to steal my purse ~ not my car ~ actually I had two purses. I fought him off, ran into my house (which was the house that I lived in as a kid), and for some reason had no electricity ~ then stumbled upon the guy in the cabinet. You can see why I was on edge at that point ~ trying my hardest to scream, I just couldn't. And then I woke up to me making some sound that I guess was supposed to be a scream, but was barely a mumble. I laid there staring at the ceiling, too scared to go back to sleep wondering why can't I scream in my dreams? I've never been able to and it drives me fruit. and what's the falling business about that you wake up right before you hit the ground...oh, or where you're being chased, but you're feet feel like cement?
I fell asleep again only to wake up at 5 am soaking in sweat. I mean, what the hell? I turn my heat down at night, I was in a tshirt and pj pants - I'm not wearing flannel and North Face to bed - and it was 4 degrees outside. My sheets were soaked. At that point I was just pissed. I was tired, shivering, and damp, I had already been up twice...NOT cool. I changed and went to bed for the THIRD time. I mean, really, this was just stupid. My alarm went off, which felt like 5 minutes after I fell asleep. Nothing a hot shower can't fix except I DON'T HAVE a hot shower. The cartridge in my faucet has been on the fritz so my hot showers are a crap shoot. I get one every 4-5 days and that sucks enough when it's warm outside, so imagine when it's 10 degrees. I get past it. I was showered, clean, smelled good, my hair was blow dried and flat ironed...it was time to clean off my car which was covered in 3 inches of snow. No big deal just a pain in the ass - and it was super windy. Thankfully the snow was not wet, but dry and light so it blew all over the place. That's a good time and not at all annoying. Another fun thing you should try - leave your windshield wipers on intermittent when you turn off your car at night. This way, when your car is covered with snow, and you start it to warm it up, it will be a surprise when the windshield wipers go off dumping a pile of snow in your face and down your shirt. Awesome...back in the house to fix my eye makeup, dry off, scrub the snowballs off my dog's paws ~ I finally made it to work, of course not without pulling over twice to scrape the ice chunks off my windshield wipers so they'd actually work. I'm never again buying a car that does not have heated windshield wipers. That's not a diva statement, I just think that this should be a required element on all cars. What a hazard.
I wouldn't exactly say the rest of the day was fantastic, but it was better than this morning. I'm off to Home Depot after work tonight to find this cartridge thing for the bathroom ~ that should be a blast. Because none of the guys at Home Depot are condescending or anything towards women trying to find something they have no idea what they're looking for.
I figured if I can rip on people on reality tv shows that I don't even know, I can rip on my own reality. And trust me, there's plenty of fodder.
I fell asleep again only to wake up at 5 am soaking in sweat. I mean, what the hell? I turn my heat down at night, I was in a tshirt and pj pants - I'm not wearing flannel and North Face to bed - and it was 4 degrees outside. My sheets were soaked. At that point I was just pissed. I was tired, shivering, and damp, I had already been up twice...NOT cool. I changed and went to bed for the THIRD time. I mean, really, this was just stupid. My alarm went off, which felt like 5 minutes after I fell asleep. Nothing a hot shower can't fix except I DON'T HAVE a hot shower. The cartridge in my faucet has been on the fritz so my hot showers are a crap shoot. I get one every 4-5 days and that sucks enough when it's warm outside, so imagine when it's 10 degrees. I get past it. I was showered, clean, smelled good, my hair was blow dried and flat ironed...it was time to clean off my car which was covered in 3 inches of snow. No big deal just a pain in the ass - and it was super windy. Thankfully the snow was not wet, but dry and light so it blew all over the place. That's a good time and not at all annoying. Another fun thing you should try - leave your windshield wipers on intermittent when you turn off your car at night. This way, when your car is covered with snow, and you start it to warm it up, it will be a surprise when the windshield wipers go off dumping a pile of snow in your face and down your shirt. Awesome...back in the house to fix my eye makeup, dry off, scrub the snowballs off my dog's paws ~ I finally made it to work, of course not without pulling over twice to scrape the ice chunks off my windshield wipers so they'd actually work. I'm never again buying a car that does not have heated windshield wipers. That's not a diva statement, I just think that this should be a required element on all cars. What a hazard.
I wouldn't exactly say the rest of the day was fantastic, but it was better than this morning. I'm off to Home Depot after work tonight to find this cartridge thing for the bathroom ~ that should be a blast. Because none of the guys at Home Depot are condescending or anything towards women trying to find something they have no idea what they're looking for.
I figured if I can rip on people on reality tv shows that I don't even know, I can rip on my own reality. And trust me, there's plenty of fodder.
Monday, February 8, 2010
On the Wings of Love...and On The Verge of Serious Cheese
Jake, Jake, Jake...I don't know what to make of this guy. He seems like a great guy. He's handsome, sweet, a gentleman, seems to genuinely care about the woman he loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with...the problem is HE'S IN LOVE WITH FOUR WOMEN. This does not jive with me. This was the week that Jake got to meet the parents of the four women he's currently dating. He was busy...he asked three of the four women's parents if he could marry them, and told all of the parents that he's in love with their daughter. Well, except for Vienna, who no one likes anyway...he's just "fallen hard for her." I think that's a nice of way of saying she would have gotten the boot tonight.
Alas, that would not happen because that would have made so many women way too happy. What in the hell does he see in her? Let's be honest...she's a snot, she's not likeable, she's spoiled, and she has hair extensions. Really bad hair extensions. She should have been booted last week after that stunt of slinking into his bedroom like a cheap hooker w/her wine and bad velour sweatsuit. Sorry...she might be a nice girl, but she's not portraying herself that way on tv. Whatever...moving on.
And so the drama continues...Ali! Okay seriously...did your job not know how long this show was going to go on??? Hi Ed from the Bachelorette last year! Ali please come back...you have to come back! You were perfect for him...granted I understand why you went with the job considering he is dating three other women and telling each one how he's falling in love with them and how much he loves their families too, so I get that it's not a sure thing with him and you love your job...but I'm pretty sure you were a front runner here. Really, Gia's way too insecure for him; Tinley or Tinsley or whatever her name is...she's cute and seems really sweet, but that voice. Omg...if I had to live with that the rest of my life...eeesh. Then the dance...ok, that's when the show lost me. Really...dancing for your boyfriend? And I don't mean pole dancing that he would probably have totally been into. Just too sticky sweet for me. And if I hear one more person tell Jake how hurt Gia and Tinsel have been...just stop, ok. They're not the first women on the planet to have had their hearts broken. Give me a break. If you date, or fall in love, you will get hurt. Grow up folks. Really.
Jake, this was so simple. Ali tells you she has to leave for her job ~ you should have then said "but you can't because you're the only one for me (or some cheesy scripted embarrassing line ABC would have come up with while she was crying on his lap)... you're down to earth, sweet, genuine, and you don't have fake hair." Then he should have jumped in the limo and driven off into the sunset with her...show over...leaving the other three with Chris Harrison to figure out what the hell just happened. Now THAT would have been a dramatic ending. Okay but since that didn't happen we will wait until next Monday's "dramatic" episode of the Bachelor.
Alas, that would not happen because that would have made so many women way too happy. What in the hell does he see in her? Let's be honest...she's a snot, she's not likeable, she's spoiled, and she has hair extensions. Really bad hair extensions. She should have been booted last week after that stunt of slinking into his bedroom like a cheap hooker w/her wine and bad velour sweatsuit. Sorry...she might be a nice girl, but she's not portraying herself that way on tv. Whatever...moving on.
And so the drama continues...Ali! Okay seriously...did your job not know how long this show was going to go on??? Hi Ed from the Bachelorette last year! Ali please come back...you have to come back! You were perfect for him...granted I understand why you went with the job considering he is dating three other women and telling each one how he's falling in love with them and how much he loves their families too, so I get that it's not a sure thing with him and you love your job...but I'm pretty sure you were a front runner here. Really, Gia's way too insecure for him; Tinley or Tinsley or whatever her name is...she's cute and seems really sweet, but that voice. Omg...if I had to live with that the rest of my life...eeesh. Then the dance...ok, that's when the show lost me. Really...dancing for your boyfriend? And I don't mean pole dancing that he would probably have totally been into. Just too sticky sweet for me. And if I hear one more person tell Jake how hurt Gia and Tinsel have been...just stop, ok. They're not the first women on the planet to have had their hearts broken. Give me a break. If you date, or fall in love, you will get hurt. Grow up folks. Really.
Jake, this was so simple. Ali tells you she has to leave for her job ~ you should have then said "but you can't because you're the only one for me (or some cheesy scripted embarrassing line ABC would have come up with while she was crying on his lap)... you're down to earth, sweet, genuine, and you don't have fake hair." Then he should have jumped in the limo and driven off into the sunset with her...show over...leaving the other three with Chris Harrison to figure out what the hell just happened. Now THAT would have been a dramatic ending. Okay but since that didn't happen we will wait until next Monday's "dramatic" episode of the Bachelor.
Intro...
Doing this blog was...well, kind of a joke I made on FB, but then after a girlfriend suggested I do it, I thought what the hell. So here's the deal ~ my teenage son recently moved to MN to spend the semester with his dad and I find that I have a LOT of free time. Most of it recently I've spent shopping or at happy hour ~ neither of which are a good idea to do on a regular basis unless you're rich or an alcoholic. I'm neither. This should help me fill up some free time.
Anyway...I'm not a fan of reality tv. However, no one would know that from how much of it I watch. Actually, I don't really watch it so much as I'm drawn to it. I kind of jump around with it...let's face it, The Bachelor is on for 2 hours. I can watch the last 20 mins and have a pretty good idea of what happened the first hour and 40 minutes without having to watch all the tears and fake drama, roses being dramatically thrown in the fire pit...give me a break. I watched one episode of Jersey Shore and could tell you, without watching the next 4 episodes, what happened. Why? Because it's the same show every week...boundless stupidity that seems neverending. But somehow it's intriguing. It's bizarre. I'm not sure if I have a mental problem because I'm drawn to these shows, or if I'm in the majority of intelligent, normal people who just get sucked into this crap.
With that being said, this is my shot at writing down my opinions and random thoughts that spring to mind while I'm watching (or randomly jumping around semi-watching) these shows. Feel free to post your comments but nothing nasty for I will delete you...or just shut down the comments section all together. Right now I'd like to point out that I'm currently talking to no one because I have no followers at this point. I'm hoping that will change. ;)
Anyway...I'm not a fan of reality tv. However, no one would know that from how much of it I watch. Actually, I don't really watch it so much as I'm drawn to it. I kind of jump around with it...let's face it, The Bachelor is on for 2 hours. I can watch the last 20 mins and have a pretty good idea of what happened the first hour and 40 minutes without having to watch all the tears and fake drama, roses being dramatically thrown in the fire pit...give me a break. I watched one episode of Jersey Shore and could tell you, without watching the next 4 episodes, what happened. Why? Because it's the same show every week...boundless stupidity that seems neverending. But somehow it's intriguing. It's bizarre. I'm not sure if I have a mental problem because I'm drawn to these shows, or if I'm in the majority of intelligent, normal people who just get sucked into this crap.
With that being said, this is my shot at writing down my opinions and random thoughts that spring to mind while I'm watching (or randomly jumping around semi-watching) these shows. Feel free to post your comments but nothing nasty for I will delete you...or just shut down the comments section all together. Right now I'd like to point out that I'm currently talking to no one because I have no followers at this point. I'm hoping that will change. ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
